Tell People What They Need to Hear
Ephesians 4:14-15 We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.
You’ve no doubt heard that old saying – we have two ears and one mouth, so we should use them in that same proportion. In other words, we should listen about twice as much as we speak. It’s a good adage that remains every bit as true today, as it was back when the pace of life and the pace of communication were much slower.
But when we do finally speak, when we do open our mouths having listened and understood other people, what should we say?
Well, let’s start with another question: what do people usually say? In my experience it’s one of two things. They either tell me what they want me to hear, or what they think I want to hear.
All too often, people are pushing their own agenda. So they tell us what they want us to hear, trying to get us to agree with them. That’s why the shop attendant invariably tells you that you look fantastic in that item of clothing you’ve just tried on, because what they want is the sale.
Other times, they’ll tell you what they think you want to hear, to butter you up and gain favour that they can call upon at a later time. Because, frankly, telling some one something that they don’t want to hear often doesn’t get good results. It’s awkward, uncomfortable … and often times leads to conflict.
So, when you open your mouth, what should you be telling people?
We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. (Ephesians 4:14-15)
What should we be telling people? Answer: we should be speaking the truth in love. Not what we want them to hear, to get them to agree with us. Not what they want to hear, to curry favour with them. But the truth.
And not the truth in a rude, confrontational, disrespectful way. The truth delivered that way will rarely be accepted, even though it is the truth. No, we’re called to speak the truth in love – with kindness, with gentleness, with the other person’s interests at heart.
The older I get, the more I find myself looking for people who will tell me the truth; I want to know what they really think, what they really feel. I want to be dealing in the facts that will help me to make the best decisions, even when the facts happen to point out one of my weaknesses, mistakes or faults.
I respect that.
What should we saying when we speak? The truth. In love.
That’s God’s Word. Fresh … for you … today.
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