Refraining from Strife

Proverbs 20:3 It is honourable to refrain from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for someone else to tread on your toes? To offend you? To put your nose out of joint? So … when that happens – how do you react?

Well, the most common reaction is that an argument ensues. There are two sorts. The first is the obvious one. You say something, they say something back to you, and it’s on for young and old.

The other sort of argument is more of a detente. A cold war of passive, aggressive behaviour, where the parties carry anger and bitterness around in their hearts, letting it fester into hatred.

Either way, it’s not pretty. It’s not good. It’s not helpful.

It seems that the busier and more crowded our world becomes, the more we tread on each another’s toes and the more conflict there is in our lives.

I ran into one of my neighbours just the other day. She’s a lovely lady but I could see she was upset. Turns out she’d just had a quarrel with another one of our neighbours, someone who treads on rather too many toes here in the apartment complex where we live.

What’s God’s take on that, this whole thing of quarrelling and strife?

It is honourable to refrain from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)

I read that and I think to myself, how often have I been the fool? Come on – be honest – how often have you been the fool?

We think that the right thing to do is to stand up for our rights. And to be sure, there are times when we have to deal with difficult issues. There are times when we have to draw boundaries. There are times when we have to assert ourselves in order not to become the doormat.

But arguing never achieves those things. We just kind of fly off the handle and think to ourselves, I’ll show them. They’re not going to get away with this! We think that the honourable thing is giving back as much as they’re giving us.

Well, maybe that’s the world’s “wisdom”, but God’s wisdom it ain’t. The honourable thing, from God’s perspective, is to refrain from strife. To do what we can reasonably do to diffuse a situation, to forgive an aggressor, to deal with difficult issues in a loving, respectful way.

In God’s eyes, it’s a foolishness to be quick to quarrel. Stop and think about that for just a moment, and you realise that He’s absolutely right. Sure He is! Here it is again:

It is honourable to refrain from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)

That’s God’s Word. Fresh … for you … today.

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